AUSTIN, TX — Local crypto enthusiast Ty “@XBTycoon” Matthews is facing what he called “the hardest decision of my life”: put a down payment on a house or finally cop the Rolex Daytona he’s been eyeing since November 2021.

“This isn’t about material possessions,” Ty insisted while sitting at his parents’ kitchen island, sipping a $14 matcha. “It’s about investing in assets that hold value. Interest payments just vanish every month, but Rolex clout lasts forever.”

Family members say Ty has been polling Crypto Twitter to decide, with a final vote of 83% “daytona flex” vs. 17% “mortgage cuck.” “He told me living with us is bullish because it keeps his burn rate low,” said his exhausted mother.

Ty’s friends reportedly support the move, arguing that a Daytona is a “signal to the market” and will “attract the kind of women who understand generational wealth.”

At press time, Ty was seen calling his local AD to confirm the order and asking his parents if they could knock before entering his room during pump.fun live streams.