UTAH — In the latest entry to the internet’s “galaxy brain” archive, thousands of users have reclassified the murder of conservative activist Charlie Kirk as “technically suicide,” citing the fact that the shooter was also white and, reportedly, held vaguely similar political beliefs.

“Look, if they’re both white guys who post about free speech, it’s basically self-harm,” said X user @TheoryWizard6969, who attached a graph of the political spectrum bent into a circle and wrote, “See? He shot himself.”

Other commentators quickly joined in, calling it “the rarest form of ideological self-unaliving” and “white-on-white crime, which doesn’t count anyway.” One viral post featured the Spider-Man pointing meme with the caption, “Bro shot himself, spiritually.”

Experts were quick to shut down the online logic. “No, this is still just murder,” said Dr. Lenora Paps, a criminologist, visibly exhausted. “Two people can be the same race, same religion, even vote for the same guy — if one shoots the other, that’s still homicide. I can’t believe I have to explain this.”

Meanwhile, FBI analysts reportedly gave up trying to map the shooter’s ideology, eventually drawing a smiley face in the center of the spectrum and labeling it “Confused But Armed.”

At press time, Twitter users had moved on to debating whether the killing should technically count as “performance art” or “the ultimate ratio.”