LANCASTER, PA — A new study is raising eyebrows after reporting that Amish communities have significantly lower autism diagnoses than the general U.S. population. Researchers were initially baffled, until they spent five minutes with any Amish child.

“Look, we’re not saying these kids aren’t brilliant,” said Dr. Alan Forsythe, a pediatrician tasked with evaluating the data. “But when an eight-year-old spends two full hours explaining the difference between a Percheron and a Belgian draft horse, without blinking once and locking in like I was the horse, it’s hard not to start connecting some dots.”

One local physician agreed, noting that Amish children demonstrate laser-like focus on topics others might consider niche. “Most American kids memorize Fortnite dances or Pokémon stats. Amish kids can instantly tell you the horsepower-to-weight ratio of every buggy-pulling breed east of the Mississippi.”

Parents in the community were quick to defend their children’s encyclopedic horse knowledge. “This is not autism,” insisted one father, Elias Stoltzfus. “It is simply the way of God. And also, yes, our son once corrected a veterinarian’s hoof-trimming technique mid-sentence. That just means he’s gifted.”

Outside experts, however, say the discrepancy in autism rates may have more to do with differences in medical reporting. “Either that, or every Amish child is just born with a PhD in Equine Studies,” Dr. Forsythe shrugged.

The CDC has promised to continue monitoring the situation, but admitted their Amish field agents quit after day three of hearing nothing but horse facts at dinner. One frustrated doctor finally sighed, “You guys just want to blame it on Tylenol?”