WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump has begun construction on a massive new White House ballroom, describing it as “a fiscally responsible infrastructure upgrade” that will reduce travel expenses by simply converting the White House into Mar-a-Lago Lite.

The announcement immediately confused Democrats, who normally condemn the president’s resort trips as taxpayer-funded vanity tours. Now that the vanity is in-house, the outrage appears to be malfunctioning.

“It’s… wasteful? Or… economical? Or… both?” said one House Democrat, staring into space like a buffering Roku. “He shouldn’t build it, but also he shouldn’t travel, but if he stays here then he’s… saving… oh God.”

The new ballroom — projected around $300 million — will replace portions of the East Wing, because nothing says “presidential legacy” like demolishing someone else’s.

Administration officials also claim the ballroom will “create American jobs,” a fact made less convincing when three workers evaporated into the landscaping the moment someone asked who issued their visas.

At press time, with no clean attack angle available, Democratic leadership reportedly spent the afternoon drafting a statement that reads:
“We oppose this completely for unspecified yet morally justified reasons.”